Guardian Angel
by Hauraunah
Summary: Angel seeks redemption. She seeks acceptance. After leaving Sunnydale, Serenity gets wind of the good that Angel is doing in Los Angeles and hopes that perhaps helping him can bring her closer to her mother. It soon becomes obvious that acceptance is no easier to receive than redemption and sometimes the needs of others outweigh ones own desires.
1. Breaking You

Serenity gazed at the knife in her hand. The left one gripped a carrot. Now that she was human she experienced the aggravating sensation of hunger pains. Food seemed unable to sustain her in the way that sun and moon light once did. She found herself spending much of her time trying to keep her fridge stocked, much to her chagrin. If she had her way she'd stay home and rarely leave her unnecessarily spacious apartment.

Things were different now. She found herself unable to pick herself up or find a reason to keep going and yet somehow, she did just that. With the light and darkness cast out of her she no longer had a purpose or a place in the world. And with Angel having practically banished her from his company, she no longer had friends either. She set down the carrot, rubbed away the tears with the back of her wrist, and reached for the vegetable once more. Did all humans cry so much? She thought she understood their pain so well but apparently she knew nothing. Even though her stomach grumbled, the lump in her throat and the taste in her mouth told her she wouldn't be eating very much, and what little she could would have to be forced down.

Serenity marveled at how finicky her stomach and taste buds were. She didn't like fast-food. She didn't like grease or oils. She didn't like anything convenient it seemed (which annoyed her a little). She did, however, love fruits, vegetables, and grains; foods that were notorious for going bad the quickest. With a gentle sniff she began to cut the carrot, no stranger to knives. Even when she tried to keep busy she found her mind wandering to the vampire she risked it all for, and how even though he hated her mere existence, she didn't regret what she did. However, she did mourn her loss. The sunlight teased her. It no longer healed, rejuvenated, or inspired. Now all it did was force her to shield her eyes while slightly warming her skin. The moonlight mocked her. All those years of suppressing and ignoring the darkness, and now all she could do was stare at the large white globe.

The scent of the carrots gently calmed her stomach a bit. She felt her appetite slowly returning. The sun had retreated about thirty minutes ago. Now would usually be the time she'd patrol the streets and thwart any petty crimes but… she was afraid. She was far easier to kill now and her hits were far less effective. Any creature of darkness would immediately know she lost her abilities and they would come in for the kill. Never before had she truly felt alone until that moment. The only solace she could take was in knowing that no one knew where she lived. Not Angel and his clan, not Wolfram & Heart. Not a soul knew where she laid her head to rest. Or so she thought…

She felt her posture straighten. She didn't turn around. She wouldn't. How did he know? Did he follow her? Track her? How did he get in? She made sure to only leave her home during daylight. She tried swallowing the lump that returned in her throat. She suddenly became upset at the feelings of uneasiness she was having in her own home; the one place where she should she be safe from everything. She turned on the water and rinsed off her knife. "Go away, Angel. You're not welcome here," her tone convinced even her. He had a lot of nerve inviting himself into her residence after he kicked her out of his. She waited for a response. After a few minutes of silence she turned around and gasped.

She was frightened. He liked that. She pressed herself against the edge of the sink as if she desired to escape into the drain. He looked her up and down. He'd been waiting for this moment for far too long. It had been centuries since he felt such a strong wave of lust wash over him. The sensation mingled with curiosity, hunger, and the usual desire for complete and utter chaos. He loomed in the doorway of her kitchen. He could smell her fear. It swam in the air. It was completely intoxicating.

Wesley had been wrong. She was now human but her blood wasn't. Her abilities lay dormant within her. She was unable to control them freely but he could still sense them. Her fear was nothing like the run of the mill scents he'd become accustomed to. He was not even close enough to feel her body warmth but he could taste her emotions. They called out to the animal in him. He knew she wouldn't disappoint. Angel was quite the stingy little boy with this one. The poor bastard practically staked himself trying to protect her from Angelus. And it was going to kill him to know that his very efforts were what set her up on a silver platter for him. In her human form, she didn't stand a chance in hell… or heaven. He gave a predatory grin and took a step forward. "Why Serenity, you look as if you just saw your life flash before your eyes," he gave a smug grin.

Serenity's brown eyes darted along the intruder. Ravenous golden eyes, replaced repentant brown ones, "Who are you?" The vampire chuckled and gave a mocking curtsy, "It figures your little boyfriend would keep me a secret. Angelus, at your service, you've at least heard of me… right?" She nodded her head, subconsciously gripping the knife in her hand, "What have you done with Angel?" Her voice was soft and almost silent. Even with her own life in immediate danger she couldn't help but worry about the vampire with a soul, the vampire she had come to care about more than she did herself. Angelus laughed. She shuddered. He took another slow step forward, closing the distance between them. His aura was much colder than Angel's. She could feel the fine hairs on her skin rising.

"So they didn't tell you everything," he spoke aloud to himself, "Don't you worry about your dear old Angel. He's right here with us," he patted the area of his chest where his heart lay buried beneath, "He's just resting while I take over for a while."  
Angelus took a moment to soak in the sight Serenity presented. Her outfit wasn't too spectacular. It was merely loungewear. Her light tan arms were exposed thanks to a soft gray tank-top that hugged her firm breasts and flat stomach. Her dark red hair was up in a loose bun and conveniently exposed her beautiful neck. He could see the tension she held there. He inhaled deeply. The fear in the air tasted almost as sweet as the blood of his victims. He would savor this moment. Her breast sat up high, the chill in the air hardened the nipples to what should have been an almost painful extent. Her wide hips made their presence known in the dark navy sweats that pooled down to her ankles. Her bare feet were restless as she constantly shifted her weight. He looked back up at her face. Her jaw was corpse-stiff.

"Why are you here?" She shivered from the chill in the air, but managed to keep her voice straight. Angelus gave a look of mock-hurt, "I came to see you. After your boyfriend kicked you out, I've missed you so much." Disgust slowly tainted her stoic expression. "He's not my boyfriend," she gridded through clenched teeth. The vampire's words were sharper than his fangs. She stepped forward, away from the sink, not wanting to feel anymore cornered than she already was. "Not for lack of trying," Angelus' word slapped at her heart. Did he know _everything_ about them? Did Angel tell him? "But then again, you are no 'Buffy'," he grinned in satisfaction, having seen her expression crack. Her eyes narrowed, "So then why are you here? We both know he doesn't give a damn about me. Or are you working for Wolfram  & Hart?"

The fight in her excited him. He was glad to see she wouldn't merely curl up and surrender simply because she was at a complete disadvantage. He wanted her to fight back. He _needed_ her to fight back. He came to break her, and he was hoping for a fight every step of the way. With her standing in the middle of the kitchen, he began to circle her like a lion would an injured gazelle. He watched her straighten her posture and smirked. "I'm going to let you in on a few of the little secrets your alleged friends have been keeping from you," he toyed with and touched anything that was within arm's reach along his path. "I am Angel. Well, actually, he's me. He just doesn't like to admit it. So he will be here to witness _all_ of the things I'm going to do to you," he watched as she balled her free hand into a fist, and tightened the grip on the knife in the other.

"From the first moment Angel, laid eyes on you, _I_ wanted you. Our buddy could sense that and it _scared_ him. We could smell the purity in you. I kept trying to convince him to have a taste… but as usual he just ignored me, but then you," he took a finger and stroked it against her bare shoulder, "you helped me in that department when you forced him to drink you. And when I tell you, he and I have never tasted anything like you before, I mean it," he paused and mulled over the words in his head, "Well, naturally. How often do you get to taste the blood of a bastard seed of heaven and hell?" She curled away from his touch.

His words hit harder with each blow. Her skin was warm. Good. He'd need something to combat the icy chill of his own. He had no worries that she would keep him warm, "However, that's not the best part. After Buffy, old lover-boy swore to never fall in love again. He even believed it to be impossible… then you came scurrying along with your big brown eyes and forgiving heart, embodying everything he aspires to. He puts on a convincing front, doesn't he?" His eyes met hers and she looked away coyly. Apparently she still saw a lot of her dream-boy in his evil form. He heard her clear her throat. She looked at her feet, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She was telling the truth. He liked that. He licked his fangs. So many sought strength from lies in his presence but as terrified as she was, she faced him with vulnerable honesty. Man, she had balls. "Come on, Serenity. You can't truly believe that Angel kicked you out merely over an argument? Your insecurity truly does work to his advantage and leaves you blind," he watched as she boldly turned her head to look him in the eyes. It was obvious that he now had her full attention. "Angel developed feelings for you a long time ago; your compassion, your strength, your unwavering ability to truly forgive… what sad sap could resist that? When you lost your memory that was when lover-boy came to terms with what he felt for you. The look of nonrecognition you gave him cut him deep to the core. _I_ felt it. I _always_ feel you. Smell you. Sense you. Unlike Angel, I openly appreciate the finer things in life," he stopped behind her and gently thumbed a loose lock of red hair. He could smell the faint fragrance of peonies.

"You scare him. You threaten to bring happiness into every moment of his existence, and when Angel experiences true happiness, I come out. Now Angel and I have never been on speaking terms, but we know one another inside and out. What I experience, he does, and vice versa. He takes all the pain and guilt; I take all the pleasure and joy," he continued his slow and stalking gait around her. His boots lightly cracked against the fresh tile. His gait betrayed his massive size but also displayed his poise at carrying such mass.

She inhaled. She didn't understand why he would tell her any of this. That scared her more, "Why are you telling me this?" This time her voice quivered just a bit. He especially liked that. With some distance still between them he stopped in front of her, blocking her off from the main exit of the kitchen. He cracked his neck, "Because _you_ called to _me_. Every time he marveled at the way your eyes glittered when you smile. Every time you looked guilty for the lustful glances you gave him. I've been waiting for someone like you to come along. Buffy was strong and a survivor. At best, the damage I could do to hurt him with her would wound him and cause him to retreat into himself even more. But you," he took a step closer. "The things I'm going to do with you are going cut his very soul. No, I'm not going to kill you. A foreign concept for me, _believe_ me, but I'm going to make you wish I had," he watched as she shed a single tear.

He took another step, "It's nothing personal. Although I will be getting something out of this as well. Aside from my powers multiplying by an obscene amount, I'll finally be able to break Angel and roam free the way I once did. Curse or no curse, the anger and guilt that will well up within him will break him. He'll try to control it, conceal it, avoid it but you will always be a living testimony to the damage _he_ made possible." The tear spilled down the side of her lips. "You know that will _never_ work," she hissed. He countered her resistance with a smile that sent chills violently down her spine. "Well it's worth a try," he growled and pounced.


	2. Possessing You

Serenity made the mistake of looking away to the weapon she held in her hands. In a flash, Angelus was on her. He could read her every move. He covered her mouth and grabbed her right wrist, holding the armed hand away from them both. Her body felt unbelievably soft against his. He roughly pressed her against the sink and watched as she winced in discomfort. The edge of the sink dug into her lower back. She screamed into his hand, in surprise. The rogue vampire ran his nose against her neck. "We have _so much_ lost time to make up for," a menacing promise lay in his tone.

He gave a growl and knocked the knife from her hand, sending it flying under the fridge. He heard her whimper into his palm as he ran his tongue along her shoulder and up her neck. He nibbled softly along her earlobe, "Come on now, don't tell me you've given up already." He removed a powerful hand from her mouth. She exhaled, shakily. "Angelus, please don't do this. You don't have to do this. I can help you," she tried to reason with the ominous vampire. "I can help you curb and control that emptiness and hunger," she turned to face him, her lips accidently dragged against his jawline. She didn't want to admit it to herself but a small part of her was enjoying his touch.

Her mind and her heart were thoroughly disgusted but her body had been aching for that vampire's touch for a long time. She felt guilty for it then and she felt no different now. Her inability to control her lust was what tempted him in the first place. She had no idea that he felt the same. Angelus' words repeated in her mind. She made Angel miserable. She only encouraged him to brood and engage in an inner struggle. The news of him caring for her didn't relieve her. If it was true then Angel would blame himself for all this, if she couldn't defend herself. She felt relieved to know the true reason he kicked her out, but couldn't understand why he didn't just talk to her. Angel had obviously discovered where she moved to and had watched over her. Sometimes she felt as if she was being watched and it made her feel safe, but she chalked it all up to wishful thinking. All this time Angel knew. He knew and he cared. But unfortunately his knowing resulted in Angelus knowing where to find her.

A husky moan broke her from her thoughts. "You are helping me," Angelus said before roughly digging a hand into her hair and smashing his lips against hers. The warmth of her body melted through the cold of his. It excited him. The pain that radiated from her scalp made it almost impossible for her to concentrate. She tried to push him off of her, but she was already in uncomfortable position. Balling her fist she pulled it back and connected a punch to his jaw. He backed off and shook his head. It was hardly painful and annoying at best. He smirked, "That's my girl." He roughly grabbed her by the back of her neck and sent her flying into the living room.

Serenity let out a yelp of pain as she made contact with the floor. She heard Angelus casually walk up behind her. "Being human is one hell of a handy-cap isn't it? I've watched you fall from sky-scrappers, land in the streets, get up, and shake it off like most humans try to shake off a hang-over," he watched as she reached for her coffee table to pull herself up. Fear and now pain filled the air. It was as if it all energized him. He moved to grab her shoulder but she gave him a back hand fierce enough to make him pause in surprise. She landed a few punches and twirled into a round-house kick that caused him to stagger. She took the opportunity to step into a side kick and sent him crashing into her tall, glass shelf. Without hesitating she made a run for the door.

Shaking off the shock, Angelus shook the glass from his jacket and made a great leap to Serenity. He grabbed her shoulder and violently slammed his forehead against the back of her head. She let out a hiss of pain and grabbed at Angelus' hand to break his grip. In turn he slammed her head against the door and delivered a gut punch that knocked the wind from her lungs. She dropped to her knees, wheezing. He stepped in front of her, "Get up. I don't want you on your knees just yet." He moved to bring a boot down on her face but she tucked, rolled and took him down.

She hoped on top of him and delivered a few punches. It was just as he thought. Her powers were dormant but not gone. Her abilities seemed to aid just a tad. With the light in her no longer shining like a beacon it seemed that the darkness within her could easily surface on the whim of her emotions. She got off of him and moved to kick him in the stomach but he grabbed her foot and twisted her ankle harshly, spraining it. She squealed in pain and dropped to the floor face first. Most of her red locks had spilled from the bun that had once contained them earlier.

Angelus capitalized on the position by hopping atop her. He straddled her back. He roughly freed her hair from the remnants of the bun and watched it spill over her smooth skin. He growled, grabbed her wrists, and pinned her down. She growled in frustration. He buried his face in the soft locks. She washed and dried her hair just a few hours ago. The clean, fresh smell of soap danced in the breaths he took of her. She struggled beneath him, "Get off me!" He could smell her anger overpower her fears. That human adrenaline was kicking in, and just because she lost her gifts didn't mean she lost her ability to fight. Angelus chuckled, "You better get used to it now, sweetheart. I like being on top."

He jumped off of her and landed a kick to her side so hard it sent her flying down the hallway. She crashed into the tiny table that sat beneath a window. The legs exploded from the impact of her back and little trinkets went flying. Some landed on her. The pain that shot up her sides distracted her from the present danger. She groaned and tried to push herself up onto on elbow. Angelus ran forward, grabbed her by her throat, and lifted her from the ground. She made a choking sound that aroused him. She coughed and grasped at his wrists. He pulled her in and licked the small bit of blood at the corner of her mouth. With a growl she swung herself back and sent a knee to his sternum, causing him to drop her.

She grabbed her neck and coughed violently, trying to choke down all the air her lung could contain. The taste of her blood danced on his tongue. He savored it and gave her time to recover. She pushed up off her knees and swung her hair behind her head, some still pooled over her shoulders while the rest cascaded down her back, "Where's Wesley and Cordelia?" Angelus put his hands on his hips and smiled, "You see? That's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm about to rob you of your purity and drink you dry and yet all you can do is worry about others. Sweet Angel would be so proud of you right now." He moved in to punch her but she blocked it and grabbed his arm and sent swift and strong knees to his ribcage. She elbowed him several times in the neck and face and ran him face-first in the hallway walls. The impact sent his face into the wall, literally.

She pulled him out and struck his nose with the heel of her palm. That caused the vampire to feel a significant amount of pain. She'd have to overload his senses with pain. His excitement raised his strength and the effects of his strikes lingered far longer than hers did. He grabbed at his nose and she grabbed both side of his face sending a knee to the same spot she smashed the heel of her palm into. He growled in anger and she kicked him with her good ankle and sent him flying down the opposite end of the hall. She stumbled, her sprung ankle buckled from her weight but she scrambled her way back to the door. It was still bolted and chained. He obviously didn't come in from the front door.

She fumbled with the chains and ignored the ominous roar she heard in the shadows. Angelus flew from the darkness and tackled her. He drew another yelp from her as the fall snatched her hands from the door. She hit the floor, wrapped in his arms. He rose quickly and grabbed her by her top and threw her viciously into the window by the fire scape in her living room. Her back collided with the glass and it shattered all around her. Exploding shards grazed and cut her skin. Her wrist slapped against the window frame and she felt the impact charge through bone and tissue. She screamed and cried in surprise from the pain. As a human, pain felt so much more intense than she was used to.

It took over her mind and clouded her focus. She quieted down to soft, panting sobs as she bit back the excruciating pain and pulled herself out of the window. She had to stay strong for Angel. This fight alone would make him feel horrible. Angelus' plan succeeding would weigh heavily on his memory for a very long time. She looked at Angelus. He removed his black leather jacket, "You know, for a symbol of chastity you're damn good at foreplay." She moved to get up from the head of her love seat but the pain in her side stopped her. "Angelus," she spat out, "Please do not do this. Please just let me help you. I can feel the rage inside of you. If you don't conquer it, it's going to eat what's left of you." Angelus tilted his head back and laughed, "I can think of quite a few ways you can help _alleviate_ that anger." He watched as she tried to carefully maneuver her bare feet over her glass-covered sofa. She stepped down and stood between him and her coffee table; her largest and longest sofa stretched behind her against the wall underneath the biggest window in the room.

Sad brown eyes grazed Angelus' face. She was hoping that somewhere in there was her Angel and he'd stop this. That hope quickly faded away. He cracked his neck and looked her up and down. She couldn't keep this up longer and he wanted her wide awake for the grand finale. He licked his lips, "Now that we're both worked up, what do you say we take this up to the bedroom?" She shook her head vehemently, looking like a frightened little girl. He smirked, "Don't be so shy. Here, let me lead the way." He reached at her but she dodged his lunge and hopped up onto the coffee table. She landed a kick to his chest but he absorbed the hit and grabbed her leg. He gripped her sweatpants and sent her flying into the stairway. The action ripped the pants off and exposed lacy, lavender panties. She hit the stairs back first and the impact swung her head back against the edge of a step. The same spot he slammed his head into earlier collided with the edge.

Her vision blurred. She tried to grasp onto something. Her sides were badly bruised and her back couldn't take another collision. She felt the cold air that seeped through the broken window graze against her exposed thighs. The slowly approaching footsteps echoed in the room. She let out of whimper of panic as she tried to clear her vision and regain her bearings. Once her vision cleared she saw Angelus standing over her. "Don't give out on me just yet or you'll miss the big finish," he grabbed her by her top and then gripped her shoulders roughly. He hoped his fingers would leave visible bruises. He pulled her close and sank his teeth deep into her neck. What he saw fascinated him. Through each sip he felt the sheer essence of ecstasy and pondered how Angel could know such bliss and not have given way to him sooner. He heard a weak moan of exhaustion. He pulled away and took a deep breath. She couldn't hold herself up. He looked at the bit of blood surrounding the two bite marks. How could he describe such gratification? Nirvana? Drinking her sent him into nirvana. He dipped down and picked her up. With an arm around her slumped shoulders and another tucked under her dead legs, he carried her up the stairway.

Serenity could feel the familiar caress of her soft bed greet her body. It was where she spent most of her time moping these days. However she felt no comfort in knowing why she was there now. She tried to lift her head to find her assailant but it felt so heavy. She stifled a whimper, the reality of her physical state sinking in even more. She couldn't heal herself. She couldn't fight off Angelus. The sick bastard wanted her conscious and present. The adrenaline was wearing off and she could feel a dull ache creep over her body. A large crash startled her and left her heart racing. Angelus was blocking off the entrance to her bedroom with the large pieces of furniture in it. He rubbed his hands together as a symbol of a job well done and turned to his weakened pray who struggled to sit up, "You know, I've seen the way you look at Angel. One would think you'd want this as much as I do." She turned her head away from him, "You're not Angel." She sounded as if she barely had the strength to muster that sentence. Angelus removed his shirt and slowly stalked to the bed, "You're right, sweetie. I'm better."


	3. Awakening

Wesley rolled his neck a bit. He walked back into the office headquarters and was greeted by Cordelia. Her eyes scanned him, "How is she?" She handed Wesley a cup of coffee. He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. He happily accepted the coffee and took a sip, "She's still comatose." His tone was very somber. It had been a week and the only thing improving was her physical condition. He quickly looked over to Cordelia, "How's Angel?" Before the brunette could answer the vampire entered the room, "I'm fine." His voice was low as usual. Cordelia nervously looked to the ground and ran her palms over her thighs. Wesley took another sip of coffee and straightened his posture, "Are you sure?" Angel gave the man a deadpanned look. They were both hiding something, "Who did I hurt?" Cordelia opened her mouth to say something, but stopped short. Her and Wesley exchanged glances. Angel looked at the two again, "Where's Serenity?" Wesley's pitiful glance at the floor let the vampire know everything he needed to know. The 242-year old creature turned his back to the two and headed to his room to grab his jacket. Cordelia turned to look outside; the sun had finally gone down. She looked to Wesley. He put a hand on her shoulder and went after Angel. He was much better at talking things out with the vampire.

Angel stormed over to his weaponry and lightly armed himself with automated stakes. He never went into the night without being somewhat prepared. He found himself feeling so much regret lately, and he wasn't sure if it was a lighter load to bear than guilt. He could hear Wesley's footsteps. He slipped on his leather duster and felt a hand grip his shoulder. "Angel," the familiar voice held a sense of hesitation. The vampire turned to face the human male. Wesley could see that Angel wasn't going to wait for the silence to be filled this time. He looked Angel in the eyes, "Serenity's in the hospital. I just got back from visiting her. She's been comatose for a week. Cordelia and I found her in her apartment. We found the address with your picture of Buffy." Angel looked to the floor and back to Wesley. He knew what he would say, but he still didn't want to hear it.

Anger swiftly swept over the usually calm male, "Angel, did you track her down?" The vampire took a breath. "I had to know she was okay," he muttered like a guilty child. Wesley walked away. Angel confirming his suspicions enraged him greatly, "Her safety wasn't a concern when you all but threatened to physically remove her from the premises!" He could still see the utter look of confusion and hurt etched across her usually soft features. Her eyes glittered in the soft lights. Today he had hoped to see those brown eyes but was denied once again. Angel kept calm. The both of them enraged would help nothing nor solve anything, "It's funny you mention that, because I don't remember you objecting when I told her to get out."

Wesley faltered for a bit. The vampire was right. This was all spurred on because of his fears and suspicions, "Angel you know what happens to you when you experience happiness! I'm sorry if I made you think you had to be cold to the girl, but I just wanted you both to be careful. I've seen the way you look at her. I don't think I've ever seen you look at Buffy that way. And you've _never_ gazed at any creature before as you did with Buffy." Angel could smell guilt and hurt in the air. Wesley was blaming himself for this. That didn't make him feel any better. The human male looked at the vampire, "Please tell me you didn't kick her out because of me." The anger in his tone was replaced with a subtle, desperate plea. Angel shook his head, "No, not because of you." He stepped to the side and began to leave. Wesley called after him, "How did Angelus resurface?" His tone was soft. Angel paused, his back still towards the male, "I don't know," he shook his head, "but I'm going to find out."

Everything was so peaceful. She found herself in a vast field. The sun warmed her skin and the breeze blew at her billowy dress. She closed her eyes and smiled. Scents of lavender and greenery filled her nose each time she inhaled. The world was at peace. She'd found her own. Or so she thought.

 _Serenity._

She opened her eyes and sat up, "Hello?"

 _Serenity._

The soft voice sounded so familiar, "Who's there?"

 _Serenity you must wake up now._

She rose to her feet. The plush grass was warm to the touch, "Wake up? What do you mean?" She shielded her eyes. The soft, evening sky began to glow brightly as it parted at the seams. She closed her eyes completely as the dazzling spectacle proved too much.

 _Serenity you must wake up now._

She peaked through her fingers and soon dropped her hands from her face. She smiled. "Mother," she ran to the angel and hugged her tight. The heavenly figure embraced her back. It gently caressed her flowing locks.

 _Serenity you must wake up now._

She furrowed a brow and looked up at the vision, "Why do you keep saying that? I'm not asleep." The angel took her face in its golden hands.

 _You have been hurt, but not defeated. This world is an illusion crafted to keep you content and unaware of your condition._

Suddenly she began to remember. Images of Cordelia, Wesley, Angel, Angelus, Buffy, and many more flashed in her mind. She winced in pain.

 _You must wake up and recover. Your job is not done. Your friends still need you. I must leave. Be strong my daughter._

The shining beacon began to grow dim as it lifted back to the sky. Serenity rose to her feet and tried to chase it as she ran across the field. "No! Wait! Please don't leave me!"

 _Wake up my child. Open your eyes._

The voice repeated those words over and over.

 _Open your eyes._

A soft groan tumbled from her lips. Tears blurred her vision. "Serenity?" A familiar voice called out to her in the darkness. Her body ached. She tried to move, but all she could do was blink away the shadows. The soft focus of light in the room wasn't strong enough to hurt her sensitive eyes. She tried to speak but soon winced in pain. Pain. That once foreign sensation came crashing back to her body with a vengeance. She whimpered and squirmed. "Serenity?" The familiar voice now sounded much clearer. "Mother?" She called back to the source, but knew deep down that the person that called out to her was not her mother. She closed her eyes tightly and slowly opened them again. Everything came back into focus. Her brows furrowed in confusion, "Angel?" Or was this Angelus come to finish what he started? Her body tensed at that thought. A cold hand touched her cheek. She relaxed instantly. It was Angel. Though his skin was cold, his displays of affection always radiated warmth.

She looked up at him. She couldn't describe the way he looked at her. She couldn't read the emotions that danced across his features. She could recognize one; relief. He broke the silence, "How are you feeling?" She looked around the secluded, dark room. She was in a hospital. How long had she been this way? She moved a weak hand to gently touch the massive hand that continued to caress her cheek. "Confused," she answered honestly, "How did I get here?" All she could remember was lying in her bed. She remembered the chill of death that crept along her weakened and battered body. Angelus said he wasn't going to kill her but when he left she could feel the cold caress of death around her throat. The spirits of the night and their whispers became too crisp and grew so loud that she couldn't hear her thoughts spiral into fear. She didn't even have the energy to cry or scream for help. Angelus stopped before the last sip stopped her heart.

Angel watched as she closed her eyes. Was she remembering the events that led to her hospitalization? "Cordelia and Wesley, found you," he would say no more. There would be plenty of time to talk about these things later. Right now he had to get her out of the hospital. Even though she was human now, she had no medical records and no sign of existence before her transformation. Now that she was conscious the questions would flow in and she wouldn't be safe. Over the past two centuries he saw firsthand how man's obsession with the supernatural hurt those that inspired the obsession. Serenity herself said she fled Sunnydale before Riley and his men could catch on to her being more than just a demon.

He broke the silence. "I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" She looked up at him, understanding his reasoning, "Angel, I don't know," she sounded nervous, "I can barely move my body." She showed the vampire the struggle she was having. Pain etched across her face with each movement. He walked over to the open door and closed it softly. It was the night shift so it would be a few minutes before anyone would think to come in and check on her. He jammed a chair under the door and covered the observation window with its curtain. He turned back to watch her struggle to sit up. She bit her lower lip. He could see the discomfort in her face. He hurried back to her side, "Hey, take it easy," she was obviously rushing. Was she afraid he'd be seen and marked as a criminal…again? He gently grabbed her shoulder and she grabbed at his elbow for balance.

He felt the warmth as it crept from her skin. But it saddened him. All humans had such warmth to them but Serenity… before she lost her gifts she was a beacon of warmth. It felt like she held the sun within her skin. Now she felt cold compared to her former self and it pierced his soul to know he was the cause of it. Her thinning frame quivered under his grip, "Are you okay?" She looked up at him and gave a small smile, "I can feel the night breeze." Once it all clicked for the vampire he quickly took off his leather duster and helped her into it, "Ready?" She slowly pulled two needles from her arms and removed the strange things hooked to her chest. She nodded. He bent to gently pick her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt frail and so unlike herself. He was afraid he could snap her like a twig. He had to right all of this immediately. He stepped to the large open window and quickly made his exit.

It felt weird being in his home, in his bed. When they arrived Cordelia and Wesley were gone. She was relieved. She didn't know if she could face them. She already felt awkward being in his room. After he set her on the bed he went into another room. She could hear him rustling around. He was changing his clothes and taking off his weapons. She pushed off of the bed and stood up. She used a bed post for leverage. Her legs felt so stiff but they ached less. She slowly flexed them. The sooner she could comfortably walk, the sooner she could go home. She didn't understand why Angel didn't take her home. "What are you doing?" his soft voice broke her thoughts. She continued her movements as she looked at him. The red-head could read the confusion in the vampire's features. She tucked an unkempt lock of red behind her ears and returned her gaze to her feet.

He had changed his clothes and brought something warm for her to change into. "I'm just exercising my legs," she began to flex her ankles as well. Angel slowly closed the space between them, "You need to rest." She kept her gaze on her feet, "I've been resting for a while it seems." He inhaled. She was right, but she looked like she needed more. Her complexion was sallow and her once lustrous waves were quite dull. She looked emaciated, as if she hadn't eaten since she was turned human. He held out one of his thick night shirts and a pair of sweats he rarely wore, "This should be warmer than what you have now." She blushed and suddenly felt very exposed. She had been dressed in some thin pajamas that covered far more than the typical hospital gown, but Angel had a way of making her feel so… naked, "I have clothes at home."

Her words struck him. She seemed uncomfortable around him. She wasn't going to make this easy, "Please." He looked at her, willing her to at least look at him. She slowly walked to the foot of the bed, putting space between the two, "I think it's just best if you take me home. Thank you for your help." She had a way of saying so much with the words she didn't say. He set the clothes on the bed, "I'm sorry." His voice cracked. His tone was low. She shook her head, his floors still held her gaze, "There's nothing to be sorry about." Her tone was so empty. He swallowed and stepped in front of her. He cupped her cheek and brought her gaze to his, "Please don't shut me out." He could see the hurt his words brought to her. "You mean like how you kicked me out?" she removed his hand from her cheek and tried to step away.

He gently grabbed her arm. She stopped and allowed him to pull her back before him. She focused her gaze on his chest. He accepted that for the moment. "I am so sorry," he ignored everything that told him to keep quiet, to let her go. "When you took the hit from that creature's death-shot that was meant for me… I lost it," he looked at the top of her head. He found himself unable to look into her eyes. His confession caused her to lift her gaze, "What?" her voice cracked as her eyes began to water. He inhaled again, "That creature was trying to kill me, not you." She tried to push away from him, "Was I supposed to just let you die Angel?! You are immortal, _not_ indestructible!"

He pulled her into a hug, pinning her limbs to her side, "Do you expect me to watch you die, for me no less?" She stopped fighting his embrace at those words. He buried his nose in her wild hair, "I was so afraid that you were dead that when you came to, all I could feel was relief and anger. When you lost your powers I was so blinded by rage that I wasn't thinking. The people that I care about… they get hurt. I care about you. A lot." Before he could speak another word, he felt her frame shaking and heard the whisper quiet sobs that slipped from her lips and into his chest. He pulled her back to study her face. She bit her lip trying to control her sobbing but it was pointless, "Nothing you say can excuse what you did... how you made me feel..."

Angel quickly cupped her wet cheeks with both hands. He pressed his forehead against hers, "You take away the guilt. You bring in the light. You make me happy." He sound pained to admit such things, "I'm not supposed to be happy, Serenity. Bad things happen when I'm happy." She softly grabbed at his wrists, shaking her head. She couldn't listen to him. She was so confused. Desperate to ease her sorrows, the vampire pressed his lips against hers. Her tears were remarkably salty. She calmed down a bit and stopped her sobbing. He pressed his forehead against hers and finally exhaled, "I came looking for you that same night, but I couldn't pick up your trail. It was like you vanished. I looked for you until the sun came up. I looked again the next night and the next. When I found you, you had an apartment of your own. I just wanted to know you were okay. I thought you'd be safer away from me. Everyone would be safer with us away from each other." She sniffed and shook her head pulling herself away from him. She wiped the tears from her puffy eyes,"Either you take me home, or I go on my own."


End file.
